is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
