i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
