Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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