I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
