we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
