I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
