allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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