he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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