And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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