You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
