i just wanna soil my oats bro
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize