We're like a lot better than the average bears
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
