He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
