maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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