Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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