Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
