after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
vagina is talking i cant
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
