forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
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You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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