I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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