Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
