eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Text me some of your sweat
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
