I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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