That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
