Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
