dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
