Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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