Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
