how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
