i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
