he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
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