i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
