Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
