I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
