Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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