Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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