Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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