I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
