I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I understand Curling. That high.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
