There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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