I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
