dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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