i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
