think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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