These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
