piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
