Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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