stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
