I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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