My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize