Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
