Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
