Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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