I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
