What did we do last night that was yellow?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
