I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
