Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
