im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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