I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
