Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
