ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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