Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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