I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
