the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
