so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
